Have you ever heard of battling for the title of taller midget? Friends and family members (mostly White Sox fans) wondered why I would drive 634 miles (RT) to see two teams I don’t really care for? I synced the 1:15 first pitch with an exhibit at SLAM which is closing next weekend. I thought I’d go to a game to make the trip worth my while and I love the game that much to subject myself to Sox and Cards fans.

Matisse and the Sea lived up to my expectations with two exceptions. I stupidly didn’t count on 458,187 people being on the museum campus (my term) yesterday morning. Technology might have failed me too as the directions on my smart phone were dubious at best. Secondly, because it was the second to last weekend of the exhibit, they didn’t have a great selection of merch.

Checking my bags and parking my car at the hotel/ballpark proved to be a little more troublesome than I expected. As a result, I wasn’t able to swing by my favorite pregame watering hole, Paddy O’s. I did get inside early enough to secure my Adam Wainwright and Louie bobble c/o Purina. It was Paws in the Park.

For whatever reason, I didn’t expect to see as many White Sox fans as I did. There was an equal mix of the South Side and more traditional white and black jerseys. Given their 6-26 record, I thought more fans would be sulking at home, but the prospect of whomping on the Cards may have been too much to resist.

The Cardinals do a great job of pricing their tickets. Every time I’ve ordered tickets with the Cards I’ve gotten great value-call it a loss leader because they gouge fans with concession prices. That being said the staff is wonderful and overworked-especially the ushers. More on that later.

Friday night’s starter and his performance gave Cardinal fans false hope. Saturday’s starter Lance Lynn is no Sonny Gray although he has only given up 5 homers in 35.2 innings this year. Sox starter, Erick Fedde sported a similar ERA (2.60). Neither pitcher pitched to ’24 form, Lynn gave up 5 runs (4 earned) in 5+ innings and Fedde allowed 5 earnies in 4.1 innings.

Lynn suffered through a brutal 2023 season with the Sox-and Sox broadcaster Steve Stone was among his biggest critics-at one point suggesting that Lynn move to salads. Lynn hasn’t and looks like he might have snarfed down 238 toasted ravioli before the game. Of the three walks he allowed yesterday, all three scored.

Two of the five walks that Fedde allowed, scored in the disastrous 5th inning. One of them scored on Nolan Arenado’s 3-run blast that ended Fedde’s day.

Almost as if they were mocking Gray and his shutout, the Sox exploded for two runs in the top of the first inning. The first three batters reached base safely before Lynn sort of settled down. Fedde pretty much held the Cardinals in check until the 5th but wasn’t overpowering. He didn’t need to be as the Cards haven’t been much of an offensive threat. More than a few times I thought about getting a screenshot of the both lineups-both teams are that inept.

Paul Goldschmidt was 0-5 and his 2/11 and .211 average are indicative of the team’s offensive futility. I’ve pretty much hit the Cards offensive highlights and won’t dwell on the negative.

Save for the fifth inning, the Cards offense was completely inept. Sox relievers, Tim Hill (lefty side-armer) and Steven Wilson were pretty effective in middle relief. We’ll never know how Dominic Leone would have been because he was injured after one batter. That pitching change may have cost us all a three-hour rain delay.

Offensive star of the day was Korey Lee, the Sox catcher. He was the only one other than Arenado to have multiple hits in the game. However, there is a dark side. After a second inning leadoff double he was erased on a baserunning blunder. He was also caught stealing after reaching on an error in the 4th. Security had to come and get the piano he was carrying on his back, lest someone else might trip over it. His sixth inning single scored two runs (tying the game).

Did I mention STL entered the game with a disappointing 15-17 record? While one fan didn’t know the manager’s name (Oliver Marmol), he predicted his reign would end in three months. Aside from a few folks in my section, nobody was crowing about the season. Several fans are quite honked off with his performance. I heard that ownership is wondering where Yadier Molina has been hiding. He supposedly has only attended the opener despite being given some obligatory title (a la Doc Rivers with the Bucks). Everyone figures he’ll be the next manager when Marmol gets the red slip.

For 96.3% of the afternoon, the weather was picture perfect, almost as if Matisse had painted the scene-beautiful blue sky and 80 degrees. Of course, the weather lady mentioned there was a good chance of rain for later in the afternoon. Nothing to worry about here folks-ooops we had ten-minute delay because of Leone’s injury.

The fans weren’t booing all day, they were “Nooting” as in Lars Nootbaar whose .169 average is well below the Uecker Line. Bob Uecker and not Mario Mendoza (.215) had a .200 career batting average. I know Cardinal fans famously never boo their guys, he might warrant it. His 0-5 yesterday included failures in key situations.

Entering the game, I was somewhat curious about STL rookie shortstop, Masyn Winn whose gotten the typical STL hype for the next thing since toasted ravioli. Unfortunately, he also went 0-5. Small sample size and no skin off my nose.

On the other side of the field, Bryan Ramos, Chicago’s #4 prospect made his ML debut in the 10th on a switcheroo. As is often the case, the ball almost found the 22-year-old Cuban immediately.

After the Sox ghost runner (Rafael Ortega) scored on a Tommy Pham single in the top of the 10th inning giving the Sox a 6-5 lead. St. Louis’s ghost runner, Goldschmidt took third on an Arenado single before Alec Burleson hit a grounder to Ramos who immediately and maybe unwisely threw home. It was not a good throw and Burleson reached on the fielder’s choice-loading the bases with nobody out.

This is part of the 3.7% of not so great weather. The sky had been darkening, but nobody was talking storms just yet. Former Cardinal John Brebbia struck out Nootbar and Winn trying to get every last out before the rains completely wiped out the game. He was doing his best to keep the ball somewhat dry and not slip and fall in the process. As a disinterested third party, it was entertaining. All the while an inebriated Cardinal’s wahoo was cursing out some older (and quieter) Sox fans who may have been in the wrong but were sitting quietly. I had moved from my first base/rf seats to behind third base and sort of protected from the elements.

After one pitch and several pleas to the umpires from Brebbia, the tarps came out and a 3:03 rain delay ensued. Like most everyone, I eventually pulled out and headed back to Casa Bob and changed for Mass and more rain.

After getting poor directions from a local and putting on 43 lbs in water (rain) I ended up dining at the hotel. Had I been with someone I might have made more of an effort to get out for dinner, but I was glad to relax and enjoy some TV baseball and toasted ravioli. Heading up on the elevator I caught the last out of the game c/o some Sox fans. They were laughing at how badly the ump blew the call.

Sox 6-Cardinals 5 with Sox improving to 7-26 on the year and the Cards hover in mediocrity at 15-18.

29 hours and 634 miles after I started my journey I was back at Casa Bob getting ready for Game 3 of Brewers-Cubs.

Mason Winn striking out in the bottom of the 10th.