Instead of family support what I could have used in high school was an agent who had mastered the press conference. As Opening Day is right around the corner the justifications for really crappy pitching performances is exploding.

Every team’s broadcasters are pushing the “he’s working on different pitches” spiel when things go sideways. My PR guy would have claimed that I was working on Latin declensions when I should have been memorizing the periodic table. Scoring a B in any of the sciences was akin to Shota reaching 98mph.

As someone who is suffering internal plumbing problems, I hope Cub pitchers get this crap out of their systems, quickly.