As I typed those words, MLB Network’s Bob Casas and Tom Verducci were eulogizing Paul Goldschmidt of the Cardinals. Originally, I was going to save the Goldy bit for my postscript, but I’m going with the flow.

Most baseball experts think first base should be one of the easier offensive positions to fill as little is often expected in the field or on the bases. Just slug baby. Costas was just waxing poetic about Goldy’s hard-hitting process this year. Yet, the Cardinals couldn’t stink any worse. Let’s not sugar coat it friends. St. Louis evicted the Pirates from the NL Central basement.

For as many troubles the Cubs appear to have, depth isn’t one of them. Not quality, but rather quantity. The guys on the other side of town have zero organizational depth and are suffering for it. Even as they are flirting with .500 and the division lead, they’ve trotted everyone out at first base this season and it hasn’t cost them anything.

At the start of the season, I mused/laughed about the Cubs problem of wealth at third base. I listed all of the options at the hot corner and likelihood that any one could hold the position for more than 33 minutes. Conveniently, half of the guys were first base eligible, but none have really solved the problem. Earlier today, I heard two jamokes discuss how easy it would be for the Cubs to convert Christopher Morel to first. Neither of whom has any experience or knowledge of the game, couldn’t be more in the dark.

Last season’s bright shiny toy, Matt Mervis, was stuck in AAA Iowa to begin the season. The wisdom of that decision was questioned even as the Cubs got off to a surprisingly good start. Trey Mancini, Patrick Wisdom, Cody Bellinger, and Eric Hosmer could all hold the position until Boy Wonder was ready. Bellinger has been the latest option since coming back from the DL. He might have provided a spark, but overall, he hasn’t been as advertised at first. Hosmer has already been shown the door and Wisdom is on the DL. And forgetting Mancini’s recent gaffe (no need to apologize like that Trey), it’s the offense that’s hurt the team.

Through 77 games and 302 plate appearances, Cubs first basemen have 9 homers and37 RBI and a slash of .242/.309/.396. Arguably this is not the worst in the game, but it’s far worse than anyone expected. Mervis hit a whopping .167 with 3 homers and 11 RBI before the Cubs exiled him to Des Moines. Since his return he’s 7/20, but was passed over in favor of Jared Young and his 13 homers, 45 RBI, and .326/.426/.605 slash. That sounds a lot like Mervis’s 2022 minor league season.

I think it’s too early to close the ML book on Mervis and apparently the Cubs do too. I have less confidence in the system than they do though. He provided a momentary spark for the big club and that can never be discounted. However, it might just be at-bats in a rebuild that he’s not really a part of. The local media and front office is hoping that his development will be similar to Anthony Rizzo’s. In his first ML season with the Padres, he stunk on toast; 1 homer, 9 RBI, .141/.281/.292 but his fortunes changed when he came to Chicago and got a second chance.

While some in the media have focused on the offensive shortcomings at first, nobody has discussed how horrible the DH position has been. It’s an even vaster dark hole. The designated hitter was supposed to be a boon for NL teams. The Cubs have mistakenly believed that they could fill the role with their excess corner infielders and catchers. Zoiks! Scoob! like run!!!

In those same 77 games, designated hitters have 9 homers, 41 RBI and, wait for it, a slash of .196/.272/.335. It’s bad enough when pitchers couldn’t hit, but most teams don’t automatically insert the DH into the 9 hole, but rather the Cubs DH has been poisoning the lineup for most of the season. Imagine the damage being done when the DH bats leadoff.

Originally, I was going to lay out the possible scenarios for Mervis and Young should they not achieve Rizzo status, but some might deem that unkind or unfair. There will be other days to muse about the ideal AAAA player.